Saying Goodbye: How To Find Beauty In Goodbye

Saying Goodbye: How To Find Beauty In Goodbye

Saying goodbye is genuinely not the best thing in the world, as it means that you need to start letting go of the past that once made you happy. You might be feeling devastated by how beautiful the beginning of each relationship had only to be followed by an abrupt end.

When goodbye and good riddance were all said and done, you are supposed to serve as a lesson to other people you are saying goodbye to them.

Saying goodbye and good riddance gives you a new beginning. Without an ending, you will not be able to start something new. Allowing yourself to see the good in goodbye when it is already time to say goodbye will let you grow even better as a person.

You must remember that whenever you lose someone, you are preparing that place for someone better. It is a good thing whenever you hear goodbye and good riddance since losses are gains at the same time.

If you choose to stay in a love-hate relationship, it will just maximize the amount of stress in your life since everything becomes too much to handle.

You will take a longer time to realize that you only need to reflect on that so you can prepare yourself if there will be unavoidable changes caused by letting go of the past that will rush through your door.

Whether you like it or not, parting ways will come at some point. Once they do, you should see the good in it and now that it marks the fresh start of your life. That is how you can start letting go even when you are having a hard time.

 

  1. Why People Say Goodbye
    • They are not happy anymore
    • There is no communication any more
    • They already changed
    • People Become More Distance
  2. When Do They Say Goodbye
    • When you are fighting more than the usual
    • When you do not trust each other anymore
    • When the relationship becomes a burden
    • When you start imagining your life without them
  3. How To Improve Yourself

1. Why People Say Goodbye

Why People Say Goodbye

The first thing people do when they are letting go of the past is to ask why it happened, why people had to say goodbye. Maybe you have tried everything to avoid goodbye and good riddance since you thought that if you do so, you could prevent the feeling of loss.

But people see goodbye and good riddance the best thing in the world since it allows them to give importance to themselves. It will enable people to recognize the feelings that they ignore for the longest time because they had to keep it all along.

Aside from that, people have a lot of possible reasons why they choose to take a different path now.

 

  • They are not happy anymore – Maybe they felt like being with someone was making them feel like they are down all the time, and it is not a good thing since it is affecting their well-being and their health. In the end, they had no choice but to say it was already over.
  • There is no communication anymore – Lack of contact can eventually weaken a relationship foundation. So whenever communication is no longer prioritize, one can expect that it can be possibly followed with goodbye.
  • They already changed – If you are familiar with the line “you have changed, that’s why I do not love you anymore” then that’s it. Some people change so much that it became overwhelming to other people, so instead of fixing it, they tend to end it all.
  • People Become More Distance – Spending their time with people now feels like an obligation. Instead of growing closer, they tend to grow apart, and that is when they know it is already time to say goodbye.

2. When Do They Say Goodbye

When Do They Say Goodbye

No one knows when exactly can letting go of the past can be the best thing in the world for someone who wanted nothing but a person by his/her side. Maybe you are questioning why people would go through this hard time in finding how to end their relationships rather than moving on immediately.

Schwörer, Krott, and Oettingen (2020) introduced the concept of “a well-rounded ending, defined as an ending marked by a sense of closure.

Specifically, people should describe an ending as well-rounded if they feel that they have done everything they could have done, that they have completed something to the fullest, and that all loose ends are tied up (i.e., a feeling of closure).”

That explains why people tend to say goodbye when they are already experiencing emotional discomfort from that particular person.

We all have good and bad times in our lives, however, when things finally get out of control, saying goodbye and good riddance is the best thing in the world you can do to save whatever is left between the two parties.

So when you finally reach any of the following instances, you should know that saying goodbye is the best option you should take.

 

When you are fighting more than the usual

Having fights when you are in a relationship is normal as long as you choose to get the lesson afterward, and you do everything to resolve your misunderstanding. However, when the fighting becomes a normal routine for both of you, and worse, it always ends up involving verbal or physical abuse.

Saying sorry will never make this hurt and respect anymore, and saying goodbye is truly the best thing in the world once this happens. After all, nobody deserves to be in a negative or exhausting relationship.

Even though when you are sharing your life with someone, you should not forget to take of yourself still. That is one form of self-love.

 

When you do not trust each other anymore

A relationship without trust is like a body without a soul. It is essential to completely trust your partner no matter what because if you do not, then something is wrong, so it is time to say goodbye.

Having a habit of trying to be like an FBI who scrolls through your partner’s emails, social media, and the phone is a massive sign that the relationship will soon end.

Aside from that, lack of trust sometimes leads to infidelity, so that is another reason why you should stop hurting yourself and your partner by saying goodbye and good riddance. Remember that no relationship can ever survive for a long time without trust.

 

When the relationship becomes a burden

It takes two people to make a relationship work. When you feel like you are doing all the job and efforts, then it is time to say goodbye.

Disregarding you is one of your partner’s way to make you feel like you are not good enough for them, and you do not deserve that. People like you will eventually realize that this kind of set-up is making you tired and under-appreciated, so in the end, letting go is the best thing in the world you can do.

We all want to be in a relationship so we can be happy with someone to whom we can share our lives with. But when a relationship already takes up your energy and the burden outweighs the good things between you and your partner, then you will never have the chance to see fun together.

This can also stop you from having fun, and there is no point in continuing your relationship if you are dealing with everything alone.

 

When you start imagining your life without them

When your relationship with them becomes too toxic, you tend to imagine about what-ifs and what could have been. You will start to have wishful thinking like, what if you are single?

Will you be able to finally party and travel again because your partner is no longer by your side? Will you be able to hook up with other people? Having these kinds of thoughts are not only toxic, but even your partner does not deserve that as well.

When you two becomes mentally broken, you will only end up hurting each other even more. So when you start to fill the void with other necessary things, it is time to say goodbye and give yourself a break by saying goodbye and good riddance.

3. How To Improve Yourself

How To Improve Yourself

When you finally let go of the past, of course, it is time for you to improve yourself and do the things you never got the chance to do alone before. You can also begin being true to yourself without ghosting other people.

When you finally choose to go alone, you are allowing yourself to find the things about you — flawed or not — and start loving yourself again.

David Brudö, CEO and co-founder of the mental well-being and personal development app Remente, told Business Insider there are several ways to practice self-love after a bad relationship has ended, and you can follow the simplest thing below without even leaving your house.

 

Do Fun Things Online

Social media, for other people, is the best thing in the world. Heck, it is enjoyable and incredible! It keeps you in touch with your loved ones, keeps you inspired (thank you Pinterest), and also helps you to be more aware of your surroundings.

But have you ever imagined what it’s like to live without it or simply limiting your exposure to it just like before there ever was social media? No. I’m not saying that you live under a rock and be anti-social. And it also doesn’t mean not using your phone or any gadget entirely.

What I’m saying is, there are many other things you can do on the internet. Aside from social media, you could still create a significant impact on your relationships and self-development. This can also give you a chance to comfort yourself after saying goodbye and good riddance to someone.

 

Make that call.

Sometimes, we think that being on social media makes us connected to our “friends” or “followers.” Seeing their posts makes us feel that we know what’s going on with their lives without reaching out to them. However, most of the time, that is not the case.

That’s why a one minute call is all you’ll ever need – all the more important. Catch up some stories with friends (aside from the stories that they share on Instagram).

Ask them a random question. Make plans with them for dinner or a trip out-of-town or even abroad. If posting for Likes equates to their need for affirmation and attention, calling them won’t only bring a smile to their faces, but it will also let them feel less lonely.

 

Let’s Get Physical

What better way to improve one’s health and connect with other people after letting go of the past, especially in a time of a pandemic, is to find other people who are also interested in learning the same things as you do-like for example, joining a live dance, yoga, or pilates class online.

It will not only prevent you from being a couch potato, but it will also release your happy hormones and be part of a community with the same goal as you do.

 

Join a Book Club

Joining a book club may be very traditional and grueling for some. Instead of enjoying the flow of what you’re reading, you will have to make notes, discuss the characters, and the plot.

Reading may be a way to somehow “isolate” yourself from the world, but isn’t it nice to know that there are many people out there who have the same passion like yours?

It can also give you different perspectives, ideas, and opinions that can help open your world and be more flexible and emphatic. Being in a book club, you have to go outside, meet at a cafe or somewhere reasonably quiet. All that effort can sometimes be challenging, especially for introverts.

All these tips are friendly enough not to push you to go outside. After all, you might still feel down to move, so begin your healing with the aforementioned steps.

10 Signs That You Are Becoming A Better Person

10 Signs That You Are Becoming A Better Person

As we age, we do all the best things to do in order to transform ourselves into the better — or best — versions of ourselves. Being the best is actually an achievement, but a little progress is already an improvement, so we tend to celebrate small achievements like that.

We continue to do those things until we find the best life lessons to learn that can help us to become the best people we want ourselves to be.

It is possible to turn yourself like that. But it sometimes leads to more questions like what is the best way to become a better person, or what the easiest but effective approach would be, and so on.

As you bring more questions to yourself, you will feel like you are getting more determined to do some self-improvement. However, you must remember that being a better person should not lead you to become overly harsh on yourself.

Becoming a better person is not about pressuring you to become one, but learning to turn you into that one at your own phase. The kinder and more compassionate you are, the more you discover that there are life lessons you should set as your guide that will not harm you in any way.

In reality, improving yourself includes making yourself happy and satisfied with your life. If you cannot feel any of the two, then you are not doing something ideal, yet.

Growing up, you know that you were not the best kid in town. But letting go of the past and embracing the idea that whoever you are before can be your inspiration will definitely help you grow tremendously.

If you want to check if you already made progress, we listed the top ten signs that you are becoming a better person. Though you will surely know whether you are taking small steps or not, these can still guide you to work out the goodness within you.

 

1. You learn how to be grateful

2. You admit your mistakes

3. You never stop learning

4. You choose who you want to be with

5. You are now self-aware

6. You always say the truth

7. You can control your emotions

8. You ask for help when you need it

9. You do not suppress your feelings

10. You accept that you are not perfect

1. You learn how to be grateful You can determine the cause of your problem

A better person knows that the best things in life are free, but despite that, they still know how to be grateful for everything that is happening in your life. Life surely moves pretty fast, and in order to move with it accordingly, you must start by letting go of the past and be grateful for whatever lessons it brought to you.

People always tell others that there is no harm in saying “thank you”, and sure there is not. You should not be picky when it comes to the things you should feel grateful for since it must automatically start in little things in your life.

If you have been recognizing small things and thanking everyone and everything for it, then you are not only becoming better for yourself but for other people, too.

Even when you face challenges, you find its positive sides and collect the life lessons to learn. That alone is already enough for you to at least say “thank you” to someone.

2. You admit your mistakes

You admit your mistakes

You can probably recall how you always shut your mouth whenever an adult would ask your siblings or friends whose fault an incident was before. You kept it to yourself since you were too afraid to say that you made that mistake.

But now that you saw all the life lessons to learn and apply it to your life, you might have already learned how to admit something terrible that you did. You no longer weasel out your mistakes just to defer attention away from you or deny anything went something went wrong.

The problem you used to encounter whenever you try to dodge a problem was that it hit someone else, someone innocent. Notice how failure stuck with you then and how you lost their trust since they had to pay for what you have done.

In the end, it helped you realized that your mess cannot be cleaned up like that. So you learned to admit your faults and took one step closer to dealing with it.

3. You never stop learning

You never stop learning

Becoming better means revisiting what made you end up letting go of the past and using it to find the best things to do to learn more about your past, present, and future. It is a sign that you are growing better when you choose to let your life teach you everything you need.

By learning to become a better person, or discovering anything that catches your attention, you are also improving your behaviour by challenging your understanding toward a knowledge.

You continuously enrich your mind with that while changing your perspective and honing your skills. But you must remember that education and learning are two different things.

There are things you can learn in school, but learning can teach you that the best things in life are free, and learning can give you the experience to have all of that.

4. You choose who you want to be with

You choose who you want to be with

When you become a better person, you start to choose who you want to be with. Not because you are picky, or you have got some anger management problems.

You began to do it because you learned that you already lost a lot of toxic people in your life when you discovered that letting go of the past can make you a better person without them.

By letting go of the past that offered nothing but heartbreak and pain, you have already predicted where you could be years from that day — and it is today, here, soaring high as you become a better person.

Choosing those people who you want to be with ultimately affected the person you are now, and you must have had chosen the best people out there. You see, if you surround yourself with better people, you can surely have long-term success.

5. You are now self-aware

You are now self-aware

Self-awareness is something that you have that made you clearly see your future. You have learned to give your inner self an extra thought by consulting what do you really want to be.

When you become a highly self-aware person, you are also improving yourself until you can see that you are better than before. You are now more appreciative that you see that the best things in life are free, but you do not take any of them for granted.

What made it even more important is that it is an aspect you are not born with. Instead, it is a habit that you learn as you become a better person. When you have this, you are able to listen more to people and be curious about what is going through their minds.

You also tend to be aware of what they are feeling and be sensitive enough not to cause distress to them. Becoming a better person is not about getting a list of the best things to do to achieve that for yourself, but you are also doing that for people around you.

6. You always say the truth You always say the truth

As you age, you realize that you have got no time for lies anymore. You try to conquer your fear of facing the consequences when you tell the truth because that is actually how it should be.

After all, it is better to be hurt by the truth and its consequences, than to save yourself from heartbreak or pain but live with lies for the rest of your life.

You learn that telling the truth is not an easy task to do, but it is one of the best things to do if you want to be filled with fulfilment in your life. Not only it benefits you, but also brings something good to the person you are telling the truth, too.

No matter how painful the truth seems to be, you should take the risk because that is one of the life lessons to learn while you are still young.

7. You can control your emotions You can control your emotions

You are not a kid anymore, and you tend to think about your feelings rather than letting an emotional upsurge to occur. Sure, we are always excited about new prospects, but you can now control everything about you now that you can no longer make decisions that you could have lamented in the future.

Remember that your feelings can become a dangerous extreme, specifically negative emotions, but you take control over it and stop it from dominating you and your daily life.

If you used to react right away before, you probably know now that refuting to trigger your emotional argument can make you feel calmer so you will not damage yourself or anyone around you.

The only technique you should always do is to stabilize your breaths by doing breathing exercises and thinking twice about your words and actions.

8. You ask for help when you need it

You ask for help when you need it

You see, you did not become a better person on your own. You become an ideal version with the help of the people around you and the life lessons to learn that they had given to you.

For example, asking for help when letting go of the past is not a sign of weakness to you anymore. You know now what you need and you are not afraid to ask for people’s help and advice to attain what you want. You also take notice that you deserve all the help and assistance that you need.

In fact, when you do so, you are also strengthening your relationships with other people since it can make you feel like you are being supported, and that is how you can get stronger.

By doing so, you also know now who deserves to know your story and who is not, since you discovered how some people can genuinely listen and care for you while some choose to criticize and blame you.

9. You do not suppress your feelings

You do not suppress your feelings

Part of letting go of the past and becoming a better person is to learn how to regulate your emotions without suppressing them. This is where your emotional intelligence works since it helps you be aware of your true feelings without promoting toxic positivity just to get you out of that situation.

You have learned that you can prevent provoking your negative emotions by feeling it while regulating it. This can be achieved when you try to talk yourself out of your feelings because it is one of the best things to do to practice mindfulness while boosting your emotional intelligence.

You understand that suppressing it in the unhealthiest way can only give you long-term health problems as it is like you are creating an inner pressure cooker.

Ruling your emotions is one of the keys to becoming a better person because once you realize your inner power of emotions, you are also acknowledging that it can help you greatly as you grow up.

10. You accept that you are not perfect

You accept that you are not perfect

You are not perfect, and you are okay with the fact now. You know that the life lessons to learn can bring the best and worst out of you, but you remember that your flaws as you walk through this path will never make you less of a person. Instead, accepting your imperfections can ultimately make you a perfect one in your own way.

When you accept that you are not as great as anyone else, you will finally accept how great you are as a person — without comparing yourself to anyone else. There is something about them that you do not have, and there is something about you that they do not have.

We are equally created in this world and being thankful with all those imperfections make you a better person. To accept, to realize that you are still alive despite all those lapses can make you feel grateful for who and what you are today, and that is one way of accepting and loving yourself.

In the end, you are still you but with complete and genuine happiness.

Effective Ways You Can Do To Deal With Bullies

Effective Ways You Can Do To Deal With Bullies

Bullying is currently one of the main factors why most children and teenagers question their self-worth. That is because being bullied and repetitively getting bullied over the same thing changes the way we see ourselves. Often, we lose the confidence we have built over the years due to the toxic trait that this particular bully and a toxic person has been showing to you.

Once this kind of treatment prolonged, we will end up thinking that we are not good enough to be part of a group, or maybe we are a failure that we do not event deserve our family and friends. This will also lead us not to believe those who try to lift our moods because the damage that your toxic friends have caused you was already massive enough to lose your trust in yourself and other people.

Being bullied can also eventually make you question the good things in you, and it moves you away from the people who understand you. Bullying does change you, and it already evolved as this does not only occurs to children but in some workplaces, too.

But this kind of relationship should not make you forget your worth as a human. You must also realize how healthy relationships can contribute to happy and healthy aging. That way, you will be brave enough to learn how to deal with them.

 

1. What is Bullying?

2. Why Do They Bully Other People?

3. What To Do With The Bullies

1. What is Bullying? What is Bullying

According to stopbullying.gov, Bullying is “unwanted, aggressive behaviour among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.”

This does not only involve physical and verbal abuse, but the toxic trait can also cause long-term emotional and mental damage, which can lead the bullied to develop mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic disorder.

Bullying is not a once in a lifetime abuse, instead, a toxic person or your toxic friends purposely hurt you more than once and over and over again.

There are two most common bullying which can contribute damage to other aspects of someone’s life, and it is divided into physical and emotional bullying.

Physical bullying can be in the form of hitting, fighting, tripping, showing rude gestures, taking someone else’s things, breaking their things, pushing, and shoving. Meanwhile, emotional bullying includes yelling, name-calling, making fun of someone, leaving people on purpose, laughing at someone, starting rumours, and sending degrading messages.

While it is most common in school, bullying can also take place now anywhere most, especially when there are bullies in the workplace.

Aside from the aforementioned types of bullying, cyberbullying is also common these days as most teens are now using the internet, with some even using the technology to hurt or harm someone online.

Any of these can affect everyone in different ways. But this kind of trait can make an individual or other people feel low whenever a certain toxic person or the bullies in the workplace try to harm them.

If your toxic friends have bullied you, they can affect you by:

  • Making you feel guilty over something you never caused a fuss on. A toxic person tends to put the blame on kind people like you so they can save themselves and let you suffer for them.
  • They can make you feel hopeless and stuck with their toxic trait, and they find it more interesting when you show emotional weakness to them.
  • Once you are bullied, you will feel as if you are alone, and no one is brave enough to stand for you.
  • It can make you see yourself as someone not good enough to fit in. This can also lead you to isolate yourself from anyone else, even to your family.
  • Though there are some people who are not neglecting you, you will feel like as if they are setting you aside now.
  • You are feeling unsafe and afraid most of the time since you fear that something is about to happen again.

 

Meanwhile, bullying at work can make you feel intimated in anything since these bullies in the workplace have a toxic trait that will prevent you from attending meetings, going into the lunchroom, or even attending to most of your company’s functions and events for employees.

In 2017 National Survey on Bullying, workplace bullying “was defined as repeated mistreatment of an employee by one or more employees; abusive conduct that is: threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, work sabotage, or verbal abuse.”

If all these happened, still happening, to you, this is the right time to know why your toxic friends have to do that and know how to deal with them.

2. Why Do They Bully Other People?

Why Do They Bully Other People

The reason behind a toxic person’s toxic trait varies among the bullies. But most of the time, bullying — most especially the bullies in the workplace — takes place because a toxic person wants to dominate other people so that they can improve their so-called “social status”.

They think that, when they are above anyone else, they can control and manipulate them as long as they want and through the ways they know. But their toxic trait is not a sign of bravery at all. Instead, it is a sign that they have low self-esteem, so they use their toxic trait instead to show their “fake” dominance over other people.

Some of your toxic friends might not also be aware that they are already bullying you or someone already.

This is because some bullies fail to recognize and acknowledge their behaviour toward other people, so they keep on doing the same thing over and over again without realizing that they are already causing distress and anxiety to other people.

Moreover, a toxic person may only bully someone sometimes, specifically when they are feeling angry or frustrated over something. If you can notice, people tend to lose their temper and tend to blurt out hurtful words without noticing that they are already saying something under the belt. Their negative feelings also lead them to search for someone to whom they can vent their feelings.

But the saddest reason they might have is that they, too, were a victim of bullying themselves. Some bullies who are well-built uses their body to bully someone so that they can make themselves look tough and string. Some use their thoughtless words to harm people.

But whatever their means to show their toxic trait, it is important to know that a toxic person is more likely to have lifelong mental and social health issues like depression, anxiety, and aggression.

Believe it or not, they can still prevent such damage from occurring, and there are some ways you follow in dealing with them.

3. What To Do With The Bullies What To Do With The Bullies

When you feel like you are already hopeless since your toxic friends or bullies surround you in the workplace, know that you can do something to safeguard yourself while helping them to be better at the same time.

Even actor Tom Hiddleston believes that he said before that, “When people don’t like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first”.

Since a toxic person might once be bullied as well, they tend to unleash their emotions but not in the right way. If you want to change your toxic friends’ behaviour, you should practice personal courage first so you can be sure that you can deal with them by showing them that you are not an easy target. 

Because if you look like one, the bully will not go away from you, and it will just encourage them to pester you more. You should also stop tolerating a toxic person’s behaviour by standing for yourself.

But if you think you need more time to learn that, here are the following tips to deal with them while you are learning to stand for yourself.

Do not tolerate them. As we mentioned, you should exercise the way you should talk to the bully to stop their behaviour. You can practice saying it to yourself or a trusted friend, so you can be more comfortable and confident once you try to respond to them.

However, you should keep in mind that you should use the right words to avoid triggering their toxic trait. Instead of telling them, they are mean, you can tell the toxic person of what exactly their behaviour is and how it is impacting your life.

After all, you have the right to be free from any mental, emotional, and physical violence that they are causing.

PT blogger Amy Cooper Hakim tells us, “Bullies lose their power if you don’t cover. Deep down, they doubt they deserve your respect. They admire you for speaking with self-assurance and confidence. So when they bombard, don’t counterpunch. Rather, win them over with your strong, firm, courteous demeanour.

Stay your connections up. While you are experiencing this kind of abuse, you should seek support and help so you will not develop any mental or emotional distress caused by toxic trait Your family and friends will surely make you feel that you are not alone, and you are good enough.

If you have been feeling isolated and powerless due to your toxic friends, maybe it is time for you to protect yourself with the help of other people.

If you are being bullied by the bullies in the workplace, you can tell the human resource department about this since all companies have designed their own response whenever something like bullying happens. They can also give that toxic person a sanction in accordance with their behaviour.

You should learn how to act quickly whenever they are about to bully you again. Most of the time, the longer the time a toxic person gets a hold of you, the more powerful they think they are. In the end, they will hold you even tighter and manipulate you twice as they used to.

If you refuse to tell what is happening to an adult or to someone who has power, you are just letting the aggression to worsen.

If you are being bullied online, you can block the hate messages by blocking its sender. If possible, you can avoid them yourself by deactivating your social networking site account or taking a break for a while. Once the bullying turns into threats or something that calls harm to yourself, you can report it to the police so they can track the IP address of the sender or the website.

Do not blame yourself for their toxic trait. It is not your fault that they end up like that. No matter what the toxic person tells you, you should not forget who you really are and that you are worthy. The bully and their toxic trait is the problem, not you. Remember that there are many wonderful things about you and you are enough.

Do not seek revenge. As much as possible, you should not be a bully yourself. You are more than that, and if you will just give them back what they are giving you, it is not a good idea since they will just notice you more if you get into their nerves.

Prevent communication with them. If you can cut ties with them, do it. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or from running away if you only want to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health.

You must remember that most of the bullies have closed minds, and no matter what you tell them, if they are not willing to change their attitudes, they will remain toxic for the rest of their lives and it is not your problem anymore. This time, you should not be reluctant to give yourself the peace you deserve.

Hoarding Disorder: The Risk Factors of Hoarding That You Should Know

Hoarding Disorder: The Risk Factors of Hoarding That You Should Know

Hoarding is defined as a disorder where a person gathers objects compulsively. People with this condition accumulate excessive amounts of clutter in their homes or offices. They refuse to take them out or dispose of these items, or even consider them trash.

Hoarding is a serious disorder that can have long-term, severe effects on an individual. There are no single quick fixes for this condition, and often, it could lead to severe medical conditions and other complications in the future.

Unfortunately, hoarders tend to hide their hoarding problems. Or, they don’t see their excessive and compulsive hoarding of items as a problem at all. In many cases, the condition has gone untreated for so long that hoarders might have tried and failed, many times over, to deal with it themselves.

People with hoarding problems often felt like there was nothing that could be done for them. That’s why receiving help could be a very rewarding experience for them. When they learn how to deal with their hoarding symptoms, they realize that they’re not alone and that there are different options available.

They might need to make some changes in their lifestyle, and maybe they might need to alter their diet. However, once they’ve received treatment, dealing with their condition could be a whole lot easier.

People often ask about the difference between hoarding and collecting. For the uninitiated, collecting is something people do because they find particular objects interesting or valuable. Collectors often share their passion for collecting certain things, like paintings, stamps, and model cars, with other people. Hoarding, on the other hand, is a disorder that drives people to gather items, without any regard for the items’ value or state, compulsively, and excessively.

Unlike collectors who organize and meticulously takes care of their collections, hoarders usually don’t have any organizational principles. In a typical hoarding situation, objects just pile up.

Also, while collectors love to showcase or flaunt their collections with other people, hoarders tend to be socially reclusive, refusing to leave their homes or communicate with other people. Experts often related this reclusive behavior to the shame or embarrassment hoarders usually feel about their condition.

Sometimes, hoarding is caused by stress, so you should have stress management before you can go deeper to know more about hoarding disorder.

 

1. Hoarding Symptoms

2. Why Do People Hoard?

3. Most Common Items People Hoard

4. Types of Hoarders

5. Hoarding Risk Factors and Complications

6. Other Mental Disorders Associated With Hoarding

7. How To Help a Hoarder

1. Hoarding Symptoms Hoarding Symptom

The hoarding could be a disorder on its own, or it could be a symptom of another disorder. Instead of making wild guesses about you or your loved one’s condition, it’s still best to seek medical assistance from a licensed physician. Below are some of the general signs, hoarding symptoms, and behavior exhibited by someone with hoarding disorder:

General Signs:

  • Unexplained need to take and keep items, regardless of their value.
  • Difficulty with getting rid of hoarded items.
  • Buying “stock up” or “bargain” things even if there is no apparent need for them.
  • Being engulfed in or feeling overwhelmed by the volume of possessions that have taken over living space.

Hoarding Symptoms:

  • Difficulty with categorizing and organizing possessions.
  • Experiencing functional impairments like social isolation, marital discord, loss of living space, and health hazards, to name a few.
  • Severe anxiety with the thought of throwing away hoarded things.
  • Indecisiveness with what items to keep or where to put them.

Behavior:

  • Withdrawal from family members and friends.
  • Distrust of other people touching or taking away their possessions.
  • Unusual happiness or joy for new hoarded items.
  • Denial of hoarding problem even if it affects his/her life.

2. Why Do People Hoard?

Since hoarding is not yet fully understood by researchers, the reason behind it remains a mystery. There is still a lot to study and learn about hoarding for us to grasp what it is entirely. Experts deemed it as a complex condition that is difficult to treat. Often, it causes pain and suffering, not just to the person who has it but to his/her loved ones as well.

The hoarding could be a disorder of its own or a symptom of other mental disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder personality (OCD).

According to Dr. Gregory Jantz, a world-renowned expert on disorders like depression and anxiety, one in four people with obsessive-compulsive disorder personality are also compulsive hoarders. While the real cause behind hoarding is yet to be discovered, Dr. Jantz noted one common reason why people hoard ~ hoarding could relieve anxiety.

For instance, the more hoarders accumulate items, the more they feel secured. However, hoarding could also generate anxiety at the same time. For example, excessive accumulation of things also makes hoarders feel isolated from the world.

As said, it is unclear why people hoard, but it is often associated with other mental health conditions. To date, researchers are still looking for ways to identify more risk factors associated with hoarding and more effective treatments for it.

3. Most Common Items People Hoard

Hoarders are known to collect almost all sorts of things. From garbage to high-value items to dead animals. There seems to be no limit to the kind of items a hoarder could collect. But, to give you a clear understanding of what these items are, here’s a list:

  • Boxes
  • Newspapers
  • Bottles
  • Cans
  • Antiques
  • Clothes
  • Trash
  • Dead animals
  • Food waste
  • Vintage items (track tapes, video games, comics, etc.)
  • Books
  • Pieces of furniture (broken or no longer used)

4. Types of Hoarders

Types of Hoarders

The following are some of the most common types of hoarders:

Shop Hoarders (Compulsive Shopper)

Shop hoarders are people who exhibit signs of chronic shopping. They tend to buy just about anything they lay their hands on. It doesn’t matter what the item is. Even if it has no practical use to shop hoarders, they’ll purchase it and leave it sitting in piles ~ unused. You’ll often discover these unused items still in their original packaging, occupying precious living space.

 

Food Hoarders

Food, even if they are canned or preserved, still have expiration dates. Meaning, at some point in time, they’ll rot and will no longer be edible. Yet, these realities are not enough to stop food hoarders from buying or collecting food. People with this condition often exhibit some type of emotional attachment to food.

Usually, food hoarders continuously buy food and grocery items even if their cupboards, pantries, and refrigerators are brimming with perishable and non-perishable food items. What’s worst is that they hold on to these items even after they expired. Rotten food often attracts disease-carrying rodents and insects, posing a significant health risk to the hoarder and his/her family members.

 

Garbage or Trash Hoarders

Garbage hoarders tend to rummage through other people’s trash and take home what they particularly deemed as “treasures.” They often find it difficult to differentiate what valuable items are from harmful waste. Garbage or trash hoarders are also at high risk of acquiring other diseases due to their hoarding condition. Trash attracts rodents, insects, and different kinds of pests. They either carry viruses harmful to humans, or they could cause significant damage to a home’s structure.

 

Animal Hoarders

There’s a fine line between animal lovers who love to take care of animals and make them their pets and animal hoarders who have no regard for the kind and number of animals they take home and the living space these animals occupy. Animal hoarders often overlook their “pets’” grooming, waste disposal, feeding, pest protection, or well-being in general. This situation often leads to a dirty living environment, not just for the animals but for the hoarder as well. If left unchecked, these “pets” would urinate and defecate anywhere inside the house, which poses another health risk to the house’s residents.

 

Paper Hoarders

Paper hoarding is one of the most common types of hoarding. Paper is the easiest to collect and the fastest to accumulate because it’s available virtually everywhere. Paper hoarders tend to collect excessive amounts of items made of paper. They could be invoices, paper towels, notebooks, magazines, books, coupons, and flyers, to name a few. You’ll often find these stacks of papers in a hoarder’s home, occupying living spaces and blocking walkways. Paper is highly flammable and is hazardous if left unorganized.

5. Hoarding Risk Factors and Complications

To date, the cause of hoarding is still unknown. However, experts were able to identify several risk factors associated with the said condition. The list includes:

 

  • Having a relative with hoarding disorder. Hoarding often runs in the family. However, researchers are still uncertain whether its hereditary or not. Some scientists believe that a region on chromosome 14 could be compulsive hoarding in families diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder personality.
  • Traumatic loss. Studies revealed that people who experienced traumatic losses in their lives are more likely to develop hoarding disorder. Some people could become hoarders as a way to cope with disturbing experiences like the death of a loved one, divorce, or accident.
  • Other disorders like depressions or obsessive-compulsive disorder. While hoarding could be a condition in its own right, it could also be a symptom of other mental disorders like OCD and depression. Some people diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder personality (OCD) were found to hoard due to obsessive worries or fears.
  • A brain injury that triggered a need to collect and keep things. A traumatic brain injury due to an accident and other incidents could lead to OCD. This situation increases the likelihood of a person who suffered from a brain injury to develop a hoarding disorder to cope with the trauma.
  • Uncontrollable buying habits. Uncontrollable buying habits are usually associated with hoarding disorder. This often shows in people who can’t stop themselves from buying “bargain” or “sale items” even if they don’t need them.
  • Inability to avoid free items like coupons and flyers. Hoarding is also associated with the unexplained need to take free items. This includes free sachets of sugar, coffee, or sauces in restaurants or bath essentials given freely by hotels. Most people with hoarding conditions also have a strong desire to collect groceries and shopping coupons.

6. Other Mental Disorders Associated with Hoarding

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Hoarding, particularly food hoarding, is often associated with reactive attachment disorder or RAD. This behavior is not just observed in adults, but in children as well. Children with RAD usually collect, store, and at times, even eat not only food but other strange things. According to research children with RAD hoard food to:

  • Reject their parents or primary caregivers.
  • Gain power over their surroundings.
  • Survive.
  • Show that they don’t trust their parents or primary caregivers.
  • Feed their feeling of entitlement.
  • Mimick other RAD children’s behavior.

 

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Personality (OCD)

People with obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD tend to develop compulsive hoarding. As mentioned earlier, one in four people with obsessive-compulsive disorder personality (OCD) is found to have a hoarding disorder. Often, compulsive hoarding is a result of one’s fear of discarding his/her “treasures.” Just the thought of parting with their possessions could give compulsive hoarders a feeling of incompleteness.

 

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

People who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD are also said to be susceptible to hoarding. Some research papers suggest that hoarding could have a stronger connection with ADHD than OCD. ADHD symptoms like distractibility, impulsiveness, and working memory issues could allegedly lead to hoarding.

 

Anxiety Disorder

Hoarding is also associated with anxiety or the body’s natural response to stress. In hoarders, It often manifests as a strong feeling of fear or apprehension about losing their possessions. The hoarding could also make a person feel isolated and uncomfortable in the presence of other people.

 

Alcohol and Drug Addiction

While hoarding has similarities with addiction, like compulsive behavior, isolation, and self-neglect, it is not classified as such. According to experts, addiction is a manifestation of the long-term changes to a person’s brain structure and molecular form. These changes are not observed in hoarders. However, hoarding could lead to drug or alcohol addiction. A person with a hoarding condition tends to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, further worsening their condition by impairing their cognitive function and ability to make sound decisions.

7. How to Help a Hoarder

How To Help a Hoarder

While hoarding can be very difficult to deal with, there are many approaches that could help. Before deciding on any type of hoarding disorder treatment for you or your loved one, it’s essential to take a holistic approach first. One thing that you should remember is that you can’t force a hoarder to seek medical help or change his/her lifestyle overnight. But, as per Good Therapy, the following are some of the things that you can do to provide a supportive environment and encourage a hoarder to seek medical help.

 

Respect and Never Take Away a Hoarder’s Possessions

If you think that taking away a hoarder’s possessions is an easy fix, think again because it’s not. Doing so would not only drive the hoarder to distrust you. It could also damage your relationship with that person or cause them emotional distress. Without trust, it would be more challenging to encourage your friend or family member to seek professional help.

 

Educate Yourself About Hoarding Disorder

There’s nothing wrong with trying to help a relative or friend who has a hoarding disorder. However, if you’re not equipped with enough knowledge about the said condition, you might end up emotionally or mentally hurting the person you’re trying to help. You don’t want that to happen, so before making any move, educate yourself by consulting a health professional or reading information from reliable websites.

 

Don’t Enable Hoarding Behavior

As said, you can’t stop a hoarder from collecting unnecessary items. But, you can avoid enabling the behavior. For instance, if your relative or friend is a shop hoarder, don’t invite him/her to go shopping or don’t offer to keep their hoarded items.

 

Recognize Progress, no Matter How Small it is

Taking away hoarded items is often painful and challenging for a hoarder. If ever your relative or friend with hoarding disorder decided to declutter his/her home, the process could be slow and long. However, don’t rush them and make them feel that their small progress doesn’t count. Praise them even for small victories, like throwing away a few items a week.

 

Help Them Clean up or Sort Things out

Sorting stockpiles of hoarded items can be a tiring and difficult task. In some situations, an entire home would be filled with all sorts of items accumulated by the hoarder over time. You may volunteer to help your friend or loved one clean up or organize his/her belongings.

 

Find Hoarding Disorder Treatment

The best help that you could offer is to encourage your loved one to seek hoarding disorder treatment. It’s not always easy, and again, never force your loved one to get one. Instead, you can do some research about potential hoarding disorder treatment providers and recommend them to your relative or friend once he/she is ready.

Self-Care Tips: Things You Can Do To Have Better Life

Self-Care Tips: Things You Can Do To Have Better Life

Everyone in this world seeks to have a better life as we grow older. As time passes by, growing healthy became one of our priorities in life though we are surrounded by several things that cause stress every day. What we can do to promote healthy functioning while growing healthy is to enhance our well-being by learning and practicing self-care.

Maybe you are trying to ask yourself what it means to take care of yourself. Sometimes, self-care means choosing yourself over the things that exhaust you, whether it is the job you have been trying to quit for months or years now or the relationship you have been trying to end since it no longer makes you happy. But to be honest, self-care is more than managing and ending your stress before you can live your best life ever.

According to a 2017 journal article titled, “Development of a Self-Care Assessment for Psychologists,” self-care is defined as, “a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being.”

It means that there are several self-care routines and self-care tips you can follow to exercise and take care of yourself while growing healthy. At some point, self-care means stepping back when you feel like the things around you are not going according to your plan. So instead of losing them all, you should take a break and develop self-care routines to help yourself get back in track. That way, you will also be preventing the possibility of having a burnout.

However, most of the time, some people are getting too desperate to experience the best in life that they fail to notice how not everything that feels go is self-care. One should be aware that over-eating, alcohol and drug abuse, and risk-taking are some of the things that will never do something good in them.

These, obviously, are not self-care activities but rather a set of self-destructive tasks. Though the aforementioned activities can somehow make your challenging emotions a little bearable, the relief they can bring is temporary and they can even cause long term problems.

As the name implies, self-care is a personal matter, and people’s approach to it will always be different. In this article, we will let you know about some of the benefits once you follow your own self-care routines.

You can read our article, “Stressful Life? Why It Is Important To Take A Break” to know the connection between taking a break and learning self-care. Once you understand all its aspects, you will surely no longer have to waste your time getting stressed always.

 

  1. Benefits of Self Care
    • You can be more productive.
    • You will be growing healthy and resistant to diseases.
    • You will boost your self-esteem.
    • You will learn more about yourself.
  2. What You Can Do To Practice Self Care
    • Prioritize Sleep As Part Of Your Self Care Routine
    • Exercise Daily
    • Eat Right, Live Right
    • Take a Self-Care Break

1. Benefits of Self Care

Benefits of Self Care

There are a lot of self-care activities that you can do to enjoy the benefits afterward. According to Living Self Care, this tends to improve people’s way of living — physically, emotionally, socially, and mentally. To understand more about these benefits, here are some of it which you can experience once you follow self-care tips.

 

You can be more productive.

To make your body run actively and efficiently, you should know that there is a massive connection between your physical and mental aspects. That means that when you take care of your mind, you will do better, too. Growing healthy and doing some physical care means that you are into fueling your body by giving yourself a proper rest every day.

When you care for your physical needs, you should be checking whether you are getting enough sleep, if you are eating healthy foods in the most ideal way, and if you are doing enough exercise, to name a few.

 

You will be growing healthy and resistant to diseases.

Chronic diseases are now the leading cause of deaths and disabilities all over the globe. The World Health Organization has been actively promoting self-care tips and self-care routines that are related to one’s health. It includes health promotion, disease prevention, and self-medication.

Self-care is truly important most especially if you want to manage your chronic illness or prevent one from occurring. Instead of depending on your attending physician all the time, everyone should learn how to take care of themselves by following this physical-related self-care tips. One, to avoid disease and to continue growing healthy, you should avoid smoking and at least consume alcohol moderately.

If would be best to wholly remove alcohol out of your system, but you can get rid of it slowly. You should also opt to consume healthy food and check for the most ideal healthy diet for your body. Lastly, managing stress must be achieved while engaging yourself in regular exercise.

 

You will boost your self-esteem.

When you put yourself first and begin to prioritize yourself, it will be the beginning of you boosting your self-esteem since you will feel happier, more balanced, and more satisfied. You will also start developing a relationship with yourself which you have been ignoring for years now since you are too busy with something else.

There are a lot of people who suffer from low esteem and it eventually leads to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and even simple sadness.

Having a self-care routine that will help you avoid the things that can make you feel mentally and physically exhausted can also boost your self-worth. Once you made it there, you will continuously have higher self-love, self-confidence, and self-esteem.

 

You will learn more about yourself.

You will surely know more about your self worth due to numerous self-care activities you have been doing for years, and it is a good start before you can try learning about your loved ones, too.

Learning about yourself while growing healthy means you must understand what makes you a different person. It is a must to explore what your heart really wants since it is a great step to build a connection with your soul. And let me assure you, you will not ever regret getting familiar with the person inside you. 

Learning about yourself is beyond discovering what your favorites are, but it is a process of understanding what you really want to do while going more in-depth to make a stronger connection with yourself. It is about knowing about your insecurities and flaws and accepting it all instead of feeling shy about it. That is why you will be sure that you are growing healthy and living your life the way you want to. 

In order to continuously practice self-care, here are some self-care routines and tips you can add to your self-care activities.

2. Prioritize Sleep As Part Of Your Self Care Routine

ritize Sleep As Part Of Your Self Care Routine

According to the University Health Services of the University of California, though researchers do not know exactly how much sleep adults need, some data suggest that 7-8 hours per 24-hour period is the most satisfactory amount. Generally, the amount of sleep required is an individual matter.

Some people feel rested after 5 to 6 hours of sleep; others sleep 9-10 hours. Most adults sleep about 7-8 hours in 24 hours. Children sleep more than adults, and, in most cases, the elderly sleep less than they did as younger adults.

Prioritizing sleep and adding it to your self-care activities does not only make you energetic every time you wake up in the morning. Allowing yourself to rest will bring you a long term effect of making your body strong enough to defend yourself in a lot of diseases.

But you should also take note that you should practice good night’s sleep healthily. Some people take sleeping pills as an answer. However, they might cause more harm since it changes your body’s normal sleeping period by attacking your nervous system.

You can just resolve this by observing your behavior patters and refusing to do some insomnia-causing behaviors:

  • Getting up and falling asleep at different times every day
  • Taking too much nap
  • Sleeping inside the unideal environment
  • Too much caffeine intake before going to bed
  • Stirring your strong emotions before your sleeping schedule.

Growing healthy and practicing self-care is only possible if you follow self-care tips correctly and healthily.

 

Exercise Daily

Exercise DaiExercise Daily

As part of your self-care routines, doing exercises every day, just like what we have mentioned, is the ultimate form of self-care. It is solely because physical activities do affect not only our physical aspect but also our mental and emotional health.

By engaging yourself at least in low to moderate activities, you are also improving your overall mood by reducing stress. As you do those workouts, you are also releasing your body’s exhaustion which triggers abnormal heart rate, difficulty in breathing, and more.

This activity can actually send signals to your brain to increase its capacity to handle stress. This can also help you achieve the first one, which is to give yourself a better sleep since exercising reduces your anxiety and stress, which can help you to have a better sleep.

 

Eat Right, Live Right

Eat Right, Live Right

One of the self-care tips you should always follow if to eat right since giving yourself proper nutrition since it is the core component of your well-being.

According to Rachel Kelly, a mental health advocate and the author of The Happiness Diet, “Our digestive health and nutritional health affects our brain health. So for us to follow the self-care activities we have created for ourselves, we must have nutrition strategies as well since there is a “wonder” that food can do to make us live a healthier and healthy life. For example, you should follow a certain diet wherein you consume a lot of fruits and vegetables to continuously promote positivity in your health.

If possible, you should avoid restricting yourself from getting the right nourishment. You should not think of how your jeans can still fit in since it is your nutrition and health that are currently on the line. To help you realize the importance of making yourself feeling satisfied, imagine this: you are on a diet and you get the ideal body that you want. But after a few days, your body fat comes back.

Now the question is, is the dieting you are doing making you happy? Promoting self-care in terms of food and nutrition means cleansing detoxifying your body as dieting too much can only cause more stress. Proper fueling is the correct answer here.

 

Take a Self-Care Break

Take a Self-Care Break

Giving yourself a break while growing healthy can definitely contribute to more effective self-care routines. If you think that you are getting too hard on yourself since you are not the best in something, then you are just putting more guilt and adding more stress to your body.

This time, you need to stop for a while and prioritize yourself. You cannot always say “yes” then discover afterward that that particular favor is not actually in line with your self-care activities.

You can pause and be mindful of taking care of yourself throughout the day since you truly deserve a decompression after a long tiring day.

Sometimes, instead of focusing too much in your professional life or school, you need to practice breathing exercises instead and give yourself some time to accomplish everything that is written on your vacation and leisure list. You should try adding your hobbies and interests in your self-care routines, so in the end, you will have a better life compared to the one you had before.

Toxic Positivity: How You Can Love Yourself Truly While Growing Healthy

Toxic Positivity: How You Can Love Yourself Truly While Growing Healthy

People always want to start their days with a positive quote from a random personality or popular figure. They tend to do it so since they want a mantra which they can follow throughout the day.

Looking at the brighter side seem to be the only way to show how much you love yourself, but let me warn you: not all positivities can bring a positive effect to your life.

Being positive sometimes may be essential, but toxic positivity is something you should avoid.

As the words say, toxic positivity is a way of seeing things positively but we are unaware that it is even a toxic move.

The concept of it is thinking that you are growing healthy and every little thing you do is positive enough to establish your life.

However, everything becomes toxic when you totally focus on positive thoughts and rejecting anything that will trigger those negative emotions a person should typically be feeling.

While it is essential to stay positive, toxic positivity happens when you ignore or shrug off negative vibes and unpleasant emotions. If you fail to notice them, you are just making them even bigger.

As they remain unprocessed and unnoticed, those emotions will become bigger and bigger until they are too much not to be noticed and too hard to be resolved.

When you let toxic positivity reign in your life, you are losing your chance to give yourself relate to what others are going through right now. If that is the case, it can make you look less approachable and not relatable at all, causing them to lose interest in your existence.

Accepting negativities, of course, can definitely make us feel bad about it.

But facing the emotions you are most afraid about will teach you how to cope with it until you can handle it while eliminating its occurrence little by little.

After all, bringing your burdens off your shoulders and chest is way easier than pretending like everything is still okay and not falling apart.

Our emotions are not there to scare us or harm us. Instead, they occur to give us hints on how our brains would like to respond to the events happening around us. It is not always about looking at the silver linings in life. If you want to learn how to truly love yourself, you should know that your human brain does not work that way.

To help you out, we will teach you the simple things you can do to love yourself without practicing toxic positivity.

But before you can continue, you can read “How Emotional Intelligence Plays HUGE Role In Healthy Relationships” to know more about emotional intelligence which you can also apply to yourself. In that write-up, you will discover how EQ is more important than IQ, and how low emotional intelligence can affect your healthy relationships as well as your other social relationships.

 

1. Understand Yourself

2. Open Your Heart

3. Be Grateful

1. Understand Yourself

Understand Yourself

Growing healthy means choosing to love yourself first. And in order to do that, you must talk to yourself first so you can be able to understand what is going through your mind. There is so much advice our families and friends have to offer. However, you should realize that your life is your life, not theirs. Your life is something only you can manage and understand — your actions, words, and everything that is happening around you.

When it comes with understanding yourself, your thoughts are the only things that matter. The way you do that explains how much you take care and love yourself healthily. If there are types of relationships that will need you to consult other people first, in this one, you need to love yourself first by listening and understanding yourself through ups and downs. If you are happy, sad, angry, or frustrated, you should learn how to manage yourself and those feelings without depending on anyone else.

You see, when you begin to love yourself, growing healthy will never be a problem anymore. Your own senses will send you signals that can surely help you get through with anything. Once you learned to do that, you will see more as you take notice of everything you do and everyone around you. You will also learn that little by little, those things that are once blurry to you will finally be more apparent.

To start understanding yourself, you might do the following tips every day:

  • Give yourself a good rest. I know you are aware that your brain cannot work correctly if your body is too exhausted to translate the signal. So taking a break to shoo away toxic positivity out of your life is a must. You can have a ten-minute break whenever you accomplish something, or you can achieve that 8-hour sleep every night.
  • Give yourself a treat by eating healthy. You can refer to our articles titled “5 Healthy Diet Tips That Can Boost Your Immunity During Coronavirus Outbreak” and “7 Healthy Foods For All Diet Types That Can Help You Add MORE Weight” to get some tips about healthy eating.
  • Taking a break is essential most especially when you want to offer yourself some space to boost your spiritual aspect. For another set of tips, you can read “Stress Management: Here’s How You Can Deal With Work Burnouts”. This one primarily tackles taking a break from work. In this article, you will learn how to manage your stress and the things you should to regain your balance once again.
  • Exercise regularly. To love yourself is to take care of your physical aspects. Make sure you dedicate a few minutes of your day getting active.

According to Vitae Realising The Potential of Researchers’ website, you should understand yourself bu realizing your talents. And you can do it by asking:

  • Think about significant points of achievement or challenge in your life to date
  • Why are they significant?
  • What have you learned from them, and how might they influence the type of career path you pursue?

2. Open Your Heart

Open Your Heart

If you want to love yourself, you must learn to open up yourself first. Accepting that you are not perfect instead of pretending that you are perfect can help you in growing healthy enough to love yourself. When you acknowledge your emotions, your lapses, and mistakes, then you will surely have to reach a higher level of self-care and self-love while eliminating toxic positivity.

To do this, you may retrace your childhood to find the best lessons in your life. Understanding every negative emotion, your lows, and the shameful words and deeds you did before but regretting now is the best way to open your heart little by little. This way, you might also be able to accept the things that caused you to close your heart before and find out how some of them might be a victim of your false understandings. Expanding your mental capacity is also another thing you can do to love yourself. Maybe you see the world differently since you saw the wrong in them.

However, if you can recall, it only worsened because you failed to notice it. So one way you can do to fix it is to learn from your past and not shutting your door anymore. This is the only way out to release yourself from the hurtful truths that have been confining you for years now. This is how you can escape from your emotional problems to be able to deal with your current emotions now.

Maybe, you closed your heart because of something that happened a long time ago, but you still have a hard time letting them go, or perhaps you just do not want to accept the truth about it. Once you learn how to accept your pain and mistakes, you will discover that too much optimism does not exist at all. If you choose to conceal your negative emotions, you are just ignoring a part of yourself, and it is not a healthy way to live yourself.

We know that growing up, you have always wanted to learn how to love yourself first. But you should know by now but we all have a dark side and it only takes honesty to yourself to accept all of that. Forgive yourself for everything that happened in the past that caused you to feel that way, and embrace the fact that you can no longer be changed what happened but you can still do better next time by learning from it. Make no room for jealousy, that way you will succeed and love yourself more.

3. Be Grateful

Be Grateful

While growing up, I refused to have toxic positivity. Instead, I looked at the negative things and learned from it, then I convinced myself that something good would happen once I understood that. Being grateful over everything that happened to you is something you can learn while growing healthy, and it can shape your mindset and attitude into a powerful one — powerful enough to teach you how to forgive and love yourself.

Scott H. Young, the author of the book “Ultralearning” said, “If you want to make any improvement in your life, you must first accept the way it is now. Don’t try to judge it and make it wrong. Don’t try to glorify it or distort the truth to make it more attractive. Just accept the way things are.”

He added that personal improvement occurs when a person acknowledges their current situation and finds pain in it. That is because extreme pain can push people to do something about it, and no matter what the ending would be, they will still learn something from it.

Harvard Medical School’s Health Publishing published “6 ways to use your mind to control pain” under Harvard Women’s Health Watch. In 2015, they listed that mind-body therapies for yourself can help you get through the pain.

“I tend to think of these techniques as similar to flavours in an ice cream store. Depending on your mood, you might want a different flavour of ice cream—or a different technique,” Dr Ellen Slawsby, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who works with patients at the Benson-Henry Institute, said. “Practicing a combination of mind-body skills increases the effectiveness of pain relief.”

In order to prevent toxic positivity, these are the things they advised people like you to do when they want to love yourself first.

  • Take a deep breath. It has always been a technique to calm yourself down while giving yourself time to internally ask your body how it is doing. Breathing in peace and exhaling your tension and stress can help you get your body back to the rhythm.
  • Find the best relaxation response. When you are stressed, your heart rate gets faster and it puts your body on high alert. To contradict this, you should learn how to focus on deep breathing and maintaining a good oxygen level of your body.
  • Once you finish your breathing exercises, you can now start listening to more calming music that can continuously maintain your body’s good rhythm.
  • To love yourself is to offer something that will surely make your day enjoyable. You can opt to read or write stories and poetries, walk and reconnect with nature, cook your favourite dish, and more. Practising how your emotions respond when you are doing this, and that can remove toxic positivity in all aspects of your life.

Reality is neither good nor bad. There is an old Buddhist saying, “There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” To love yourself is to allow yourself to see both big and small pictures and overcoming the challenges in life.

You do not need to complain anything about your struggles because that is what can make you stronger and healthier.

And once you champion all of that, I assure you that you will feel life’s satisfaction you have always been waiting for.