As we grow older, we aim to have nothing but healthy relationships because these people are the ones we will spend the rest of our lives with them. To have healthy relationships mean growing healthy, so keeping them close to us is as essential as taking care of ourselves.
Just like the way you built yourself over the past years, establishing a relationship with other people can also take time if you want it to be healthy and strong.
If you have experienced failed relationships in the past, you will know how a single problem can cause a time bomb to explode, as if it is just waiting for a small mistake before a person tells you that taking a break might be the best thing than being with you.
Of course, hearing those words can hurt you. But you will know who created the lapses and who overlooked them. After all, loving someone is like riding on a seesaw — it will never work if there is no one sitting at the other end of it. It is essential to know when to pull and push, and to realize when everything is already too much. When that happens, taking a break might be the only option you should face.
We all want to avoid that and safeguard all the relationships we have. Not because we already have invested our time, efforts, and commitment to them, but because we know our lives will never be the same again once we lost them. So to keep the fire burning, we will let you know through this article how you can keep your healthy relationships without taking a break.
Before we proceed, you may try reading “How Emotional Intelligence Plays HUGE Role In healthy relationships.” In that article, more knowledge of how your emotions can prevent you from always saying goodbye when you can still save previous relationships.
Make Time For Each Other
Time truly is something you want to invest in if you are going to experience growing healthy, and it is the same as investing it on to create healthy relationships.
Falling in love and listening to your partner are complementary ways to keep your relationship burning. Sometimes, the things you did during your first date is exciting anymore since you failed to remember how it made you feel during the first time.
Time plays a vital role in creating healthy relationships since, as we grow older, we tend to focus on working so hard to be the best versions of ourselves. We divide our time alone with our families, friends, and loved ones. But as years go by, we will find it hard to find time together again, most notably when you two are already preparing to settle down.
But it is reasonable, isn’t it? To sacrifice what you have today to have a better future together. If the two of you share the same high level of emotional intelligence, then you will surely get through this together. Growing healthy with your partner contributes to the version of you when you are growing up. As long as you understand each other’s sacrifices, then you two are still good.
Also, some couples still prefer face-to-face interaction and communication rather than virtual messaging. If you can notice, younger generations nowadays opt to talk using texts, emails, social networking sites, and other internet-related communication.
Though these are all instant, it is still essential to exchange your stories in person as it can strengthen your relationships. Using too many devices also does not have many positive impacts on yourself and the nervous system, and worst, it can lead to more severe health problems.
It is okay to exchange your “I love yous” and other sweet messages via text or voice messages, but nothing can still beat if you will express your feelings in a person. If you continue to distance yourself with this, taking a break might be your next step. This is because they no longer feel like you understand them or appreciate them, so your ending might be more likely a disconnected couple.
No matter how busy you are, taking care of each other, as well as your emotional and mental health, is essential in growing healthy together.
You can set a regular time to see each other and go on a date, or you can also have at least one day per week where you can put your electronic devices down and focus on your partners. You can also reserve a day where you can spend it on enjoying your hobbies together, or probably a simple walk to the park is already okay.
The most important thing about staying close and having healthy relationships is how you stay focus without breaking the fun. Sure, being earnest is a must, but you two still need to exchange laughs from time to time. Keeping your sense of humor can ease away your anxiety and stress, and that will surely connect the two of you more.
Aside from time, constant communication will help you prevent taking a break from each other. When growing up, we always feel the need to share our feelings and thoughts.
In relationships, having excellent communication brings positive emotional connection since you let your partner relate themselves to you, and they do the same in return. Practicing constant contact will work your healthy relationships through without taking a break due to the problems you are facing.
Since you are in a relationship, your partner serves as your best friend, as well.
You can tell them anything that you want to say to them, be it your worst day at work or in school, tell them about the traffic and how it got you late. You can tell them how you are craving for this and for that, or you can also inform them that your favorite Netflix series just ended. You see, being open makes healthy relationships, and that is what we want.
After all, loving someone should provide comfort and understanding to both parties to achieve goring healthy. To attain this, you must be a good listener whenever your partner has something to say. That way, you can make them feel valued while showing them that you are not just hearing them, but listening to them, as well.
Jon Kabat-Zin wrote in his book “Wherever You Go There You Are,” these are the tips to become a better listener.
- Put yourself inside the mind of the speaker.
- Listen for meaning.
- Pay attention to body language.
- Cultivate empathy.
- Avoid making judgments.
- Look into others’ eyes when they’re speaking.
- Pay attention to the feelings associated with the words.
- Notice the speaker’s tone and inflection.
- Repeat in your own words what someone has told you (empathetic reflection).
- Acknowledge that you’re listening by nodding or saying, “Uh-huh.”
- Occasionally summarize others’ comments when given a chance.
But if you are too stressed to stay connected, you should let your partner know about it so you will not leave anywhere hanging. Remember, they are your partner, and whatever that is going through your mind should be known to them so that they can help you out and try to make things better for you instead of taking a break away from them.
That way, you will be calmer as you try to avoid regretting those things that will occur during your misunderstandings and conflicts.
Understand That There Is Always Ups and Downs
healthy relationships are not a straight line, indeed. Each one of them experiences downs, and that what makes the connection between two people deeper.
Growing healthy means knowing that there is no perfect person in healthy relationships no matter how durable and robust the two people are. Each one of us has our own flaws, and it might cause us to have downtime with our partners sometimes.
Temporarily taking a break by parting ways might help you, but it is still better if you can fix it together most especially when you convince yourself that you two are a team. You will not always fall on the same page.
If you have something on your mind that stresses you, it is certain that he is experiencing the same feeling but due to different reasons, instead.
In a study conducted by Guy Bodenmann of the University of Zurich and Ashley Randall, they stated in the article “Current Opinion in Psychology” that “Stress — the physical or psychological reaction to real or imagined demands — is embedded within our social context, and can impact the ways in which we interact with others, speciﬁcally our romantic partner.
While some individuals may face increased experiences of stress due to personality traits, such as neuroticism, or mental health conditions, such as diagnosed anxiety or depression, the focus of this manuscript is to present a review of associations between stress and romantic partners’ relationship satisfaction irrespective of these individual differences.”
When growing up, you should teach yourself the fact that there are a lot of stressors surrounding even the healthy relationships so it is important to cope with stress and not vent it with your partner — though it seems like the easiest thing to do. There are healthier ways to manage your feelings, specifically your anger, stress, and frustration.
However, you should know when a solution is healthy or not so you can avoid adding more fuel to the problem. The most important thing to do here is to continue to move forward together while looking for the perfect solutions to get through the rough spots.
Remembering what you have been gone through can also help you calm down. By imagining those happy memories and thinking about your future together, you will find more courage to immediately look for a solution so you can continue growing healthy together.
Drifting apart or taking a break is never a solution here if you want your relationship to last for a long time — or forever.
When you commit mistakes, you should be humble enough to admit it and do something to fix this. Changing for the better will not hurt you. In fact, that is what makes healthy relationships stronger. Your pride has no place here if you aim to be with that person.
If you really want to spend the rest of your life with them, make sure that when growing up, you take note of the bad habits that you have and adapt some changes to improve yourself. If you need to seek someone else’s help and advice, it is alright since therapy can help you a lot.
There are some things in your relationship that, sometimes, are becoming too toxic and overwhelming to handle. There are some love experts, or even your parents, who know better and can give you a concrete answer to fix your relationship.
There is no need to be shy if you only want the best things to happen. Your downfall is your partner’s downfall, too, and you should work harder to get back up together stronger.
Remember, it is normal to have ups and downs, and you should embrace that instead of sacrificing healthy relationships by suddenly taking a break. Not all relationships are 100 percent alright all the time. You must remember that you are in a relationship with an individual, and they are still trying their best to do everything just to achieve everything by growing healthy like you.
Disagreements should never be a reason for you to quit, and it is only possible if you keep yourself to each other burning. Respect each other when you are happy, when you are sad. Respect each other’s feelings when you are angry, or when you are too tired to deal with anything else.
Remember that once you said something negative, they will remember that forever, and you cannot take them back anymore. But the most important thing to have healthy relationships is to forgive, every time, even if you think they do not deserve it.