How to Break up With Someone: 7 Proper Ways of Bidding Goodbye

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How to Break up With Someone

Written by Aochealth Team

Aochealth is a trusted guide to the healthy living website. Our mission is to provide health knowledge that you can use to help yourself and your loved ones.

April 20, 2020

Love is the only thing in the world that has total control over your emotions. It can make you feel delighted and sad. That’s the reason why it is beautiful to fall in love.

However, love moves in mysterious ways also. When things change, and you can no longer feel the intensity of love towards your partner, you have to make a painful decision that will hurt you both. You may now start to wonder how to break up with someone you once loved.

It is when you try to save the whole relationship, but you know to yourself that parting ways are the best option.

According to a famous song you often hear on the radio, there is no easy way to break somebody’s heart, and that’s very legit. You will get confused about whether you are making the right or decision or not because you value the time and countless experiences you had together. It is no wonder that you think of how your partner would feel the moment you tell him about the breakup.

Just by thinking about how hurt he will be will almost break you and stop you from doing it. 

Well, you don’t have to worry. We are going to help you ease the agony you are feeling in saying, “I don’t love you anymore” and “I’m letting you go.”

There is nothing you can do that can make him feel better about your breakup than giving him a proper goodbye. The conversation and how you say things must be planned well so that you won’t end up hurting him more. You can do this with the help of the ways we’ve listed about how to break up with someone.

Check them out below!

 

1. Think twice before you end things

Think twice before you end things

You must evaluate very well the feelings you have for your partner. Do you want to break up with him? Are you ready to end things without regretting it the next day?

Make sure that you keep in check your emotions. Because sometimes we make wrong choices when we are too mad or sad.

If you encounter problems, you must fix them before you decide. This is one way of avoiding regrets. What if the problem is fixable? What if the love faded because you weren’t able to fix your issues together?

Remember that there are two people in a relationship. You must be considerate to fix everything before you end things.

Again, you should not rush it when you want to break up with your partner. For example, if you are in the middle of arguments, you need to hold your horses and wait for both of you to cool down before talking about significant changes in your relationship.

A proper breakup is not surprisingly said. It must be something you both see coming so that it won’t be too devasting for the other person. If everything is right between the both of you and you demand a breakup, that is damaging and confusing.

So, make sure your breakup doesn’t suddenly come out of the blue.

2. Plan the date and location

Plan the date and location

If you have decided that you wanted out, the next thing that you have to plan is the date and location. Please know that breakups are not secure. Your partner might not be able to control how he reacts upon your revelation.

So choose a place where you have privacy. In this way, you can talk about anything and everything without minding the surrounding. However, if you have any physical abuse or nasty experiences with your partner, it is better to call it quits with a friend or a family member alongside.

He can’t harm you when you are accompanied. Always think about your safety.

Going to clubs or any place with loud music is not a good option. You must choose a serene place that can set the right mood for a serious talk. Others suggest that the right setting for breakups are in the homes of their partners. It is one way of saving them from driving with a broken heart and devastating emotions.

Ideally, they can let you leave, and they can have their emotional break down right away inside their homes.

3. Be clear with your reasons for breaking up

Be clear with your reasons for breaking up

Since you are the one who wanted out, you must be ready to lay all your goals for breaking up. You must not only focus on asking yourself how to break up with someone or how to say sorry but all that to say about the reasons for parting ways.

It will be stressful to weigh down the happy memories over the problems you had with your partner. Giving him the precise reasons why you want to end the relationship is the kindest thing you can do to make the breakup proper.

You must write your reasons down so you can practice it or remember everything once your partner is with you.

This is one way of making your message more concise and compelling. Try to write it in a direct yet non-blameful manner. Remember that you don’t want to add more sadness in his heart by how you say things because breaking up is already painful.

What more can it be if you let bad things slip out of your mouth, right? So to avoid it, you have to come prepared.

4. Be kind enough to apologize

Be kind enough to apologize

Compassion or empathy is essential if you wanted out of the relationship. The effective way to do this is to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. What if he is the one who broke up with you?

What are the exact words or things you want to hear from him to take the pain away? Surely you have experienced it before being the one who got left behind. So remember the feelings you had back then and reevaluate if your words are too painful to be utter.

The reason why your message should be direct to the point is that it should be clear. Beating around the bush will only add confusion on his part, making the conversation hard to control.

If you don’t come up with compelling reasons, he will be asking you a lot of follow up questions that would later result in an argument. Be kind enough to tell him about what went wrong so that he will understand your decision.

You must be compassionate, but you should not take responsibility for how he would feel. Yes, it feels like it is your fault, and you are the wrong person because you choose to leave, but you should also think of the benefit you both can get after this mess.

The moment you say the words, “I don’t love you anymore,” is also the moment you can expect things to end negatively. Not everyone is ever ready to accept pain and rejections right away, so I hope that the answers you have compiled in how to say sorry aren’t enough to mend him.

5. Accept their reactions

Accept their reactions

If they accept your decision negatively, well, you should expect that ahead. If they prefer to act normal, it doesn’t mean that they are okay with the breakup. It is not easy to accept that you are no longer making memories with the person you thought you’d marry.

So, if they yell at you and beg for you not to go, make sure you are ready to turn him down.

You can anticipate them to get too emotional, so be ready to hear hurtful words coming from them too. However, you need to stay true to yourself and avoid saving them from what they are currently feeling.

It doesn’t make you heartless or selfish because it will both lead you to wonderful opportunities and people in the future. So, don’t ever try to make it up to them after your break up. Doing this will only confuse him with your real feelings for him.

6. Stick to your decision no matter what

Stick to your decision no matter what

You should expect it that your partner will ask for forgiveness or a second chance. He will beg you not to leave him. And it will be confusing on your end too. Your mind and your heart will be battling against each other, whether to give him a chance or not. However, you should know when you truly love someone when you don’t have to choose between what your mind and your heart says. What’s the use of practicing how to say sorry if you don’t apply it to the situation?

Here are some of the breakup reactions that you have to prepare to stick to your decision no matter what happens:

 

The Optimist

“Nah, we are just taking a break.” These people don’t accept the fact they are now a newly single man or woman. No matter what their friends say, they are under the impression things will work out, and wedding bells will ring soon.

 

The Social Media Blab

For this individual, their feelings are so transparent it seeps into their social media accounts. A day after the breakup, everyone will know how much you hate the other sex and think they are all pitted with evil. They will know you are a strong independent person that will only need coffee and your dog to feel better. But it’s okay. You do you boo!

 

The Stalker

This person can’t help themself from surveying their ex’s social media profiles 24/7. You need to see if they are with anyone new, or are just as miserable as you are. While this may be a side effect of a pre-dopamine flooded brain, it’s a little creepy.

 

Sad Song Repeat

Sad songs and ice cream are their best friends. They will know all the words to NeYo’s song “So Sick,” and the people at the grocery store know your routine. The bottom line is they find comfort in drowning themselves in song, and that’s okay!

7. Be grateful as you part ways

Be grateful as you part ways

No matter how ugly the ending, you were once pleased with the beginning of your relationship. So, thank him. Be thankful for the beautiful memories you both have shared. Thank him for the times that he was strong enough to accept your flaws even though you weren’t too confident about it.

Once you see him in pain with your break up, remind him of the beautiful things he will have in the future that’s full of happiness and contentment. Tell him how he wonderfully contributed to your life to get better. Show a little bit of regret so that he won’t be blaming himself for all the things that happened in your relationship. If you are brave enough to say I don’t love you anymore, you must be brave enough to thank him for the love you once wanted very much. Regardless of where life takes you, you will always be bringing the memories and lessons that came from him.

 

Conclusion

Now that you have read the seven proper ways of how to break up with someone, we are confident that it will help you get the best of things to happen in what to do after the breakup also.

Remember that even if you are the one who calls it quits, it doesn’t mean that you are the one at fault. Well, love most in mysterious ways, and you have to forgive yourself too for wanting out of the relationship. Focus on a bright future ahead, but never forget to be kind enough as you leave the past behind.

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