Sometimes relationships fail because of the uncertainties and insecurities of how love should be beneficial for each other.
However, after a breakup, you don’t only feel the aftermath of pain, but also the agony of losing someone you truly love. This is where you start planning about how to get your ex back.
Although it seems scary to get rejected since you have already hurt the person, if you persevere to win her heart and be together again, nothing is impossible.
Usually, some of your friends or loved ones would advise you to leave it all in the past. They may think that if it didn’t work out the first time, it would not be worth the second try. Don’t get discouraged by their words because everything that your heart is aching for is worth the chase.
For your ex to come back, you don’t need a lot of money to buy her presents. You only need to be right with what you promised and the goals you have for the relationship.
It is more than just “Come back to me. I’ll make it up to you” because your intentions should be clear as water. Be patient enough to wait for her like a suitor for the first time. If you think you got these qualities, then it’s time for you to learn the seven successful tips to get back with your ex.
Check them out below!
1. Give them space
After the breakup, you must give your ex a breather. It is not advisable to text her with the words “come back to me.”
Oh no! Not yet. Leave her alone and don’t ever make a move that will ruin her peace of mind and personal space. In this way, you are giving time to heal the wounds caused by the ending of your relationship.
We understand that you would want to check on her from time to time since you do love her. But you need to hold back the urge to see her stop opening the wounds in her heart. The more she sees you, the higher the pain.
You should at least stop contacting them for the first two months.
Don’t text your ex, don’t call her, and stop sending her hints about how much you missed her. It is the time that you let her become the person that she wants to be without you.
She could focus on the other aspects of her life, such as family, friends, and career, for her to become whole again. It is no question that you both shattered each other’s heart or worst, life after a breakup. Let the time do the healing so that she can also forget all the pain before you ask her to get back with you.
2. Make yourself better
Remember that when your relationship ended, it was not only your ex who was hurt with the breakup but also you.
Grieve if you have to. We know that it is impossible to move on and stop thinking about the breakup so cry until you run out of tears to let out. The alone time you give to your ex must also be given to yourself. While your ex is healing, you have to do your part too.
Make sure to focus on other things that will make your life more meaningful than yesterday. You should stop the negativities and the thought of how to get back with your ex for the first two months.
Your goal should be on yourself first before you aim for both of you to be together again. Do the things that you weren’t able to do while you were in a relationship with your ex.
Do things that will hype you up and remove the sadness away, such as jogging, going to the gym, or anything that you are passionate about. There are workouts you need to get over a breakup. You need to improve your self-esteem so that you will have enough confidence the moment you ask your ex to get back with you.
You can seek a better appearance so you will look fresh to her eyes when she sees you in due time. You are responsible for how you can make yourself better than yesterday so that it won’t be hard for you to conquer the future with enough love to offer.
3. Don’t make any negative comments about your breakup
Breakups could be one of the most painful things you can experience in life. But it doesn’t mean that you should look desperate for attention, telling other people who to blame with your breakup.
It will be a turn off for her if you keep on dragging her name to the mud. It is one way of preventing suicide when one is miserable. May it is your fault or hers, you should keep it a secret.
This is one way of getting her back. If she sees how much you value her worth that you don’t talk any negativity about her, the more she will cherish you as an ex-lover. It will also give her hints that you are protecting her from anything that can destroy her more.
Stop the negativity and focus on what you could both benefit after the breakup.
4. Meet new people
It is part of your growth that you start meeting new people.
Your ex wouldn’t want to see you head-over-heels with her. The more you show too much interest in getting back together again, the less she’ll be available to you. You can make her realize you have already moved on by meeting new acquaintances that you could have fun with. It will be a reminder to your ex that you are now open for dating, and she will start asking herself if she’s ready to see you with someone new. You don’t have to use other people to make her realize your worth.
As long as the person involved knows that you are not ready for commitment and what you are up to is casual dating, that’s fine.
You can go in groups so that it will be easy for you to have fun and forget the thought of getting fed up with her memories. The goal here is to make her jealous. If she sees you with somebody else and still wants you, she will do everything to keep you. It’s like reverse psychology that you stop giving attention for your ex to shower you hers.
5. Hang out with your friends and ex
The moment you start hanging with other people is also the moment that you should join the events that your ex and your mutual friends are attending.
It should be a group date so that it won’t be awkward for both of you to see each other for the first time after the breakup. You should not feel nervous but rather have fun with their company. It is time for you to build the friendship you once lost before turning it into a relationship. Avoid getting involved in serious talks when teased by your friends with what could go wrong.
Recreate an experience with your friends and make sure to show a little care for your ex when she’s tipsy or drunk.
Make sure to stay intimate when talking to her. Maintain eye contact when having a conversation so that you can build an impact of how much you still adore her eyes and the way she carries herself. You can use it to your advantage to ignite the fire inside her that has been asleep for weeks that you’re not around.
6. Talk about your past issues
Once you get comfortable with each other, that is the right time for you to open up about your recent problems.
You should think twice what to say before you start the conversation about your painful break up because that’s the part where you’ll know if you can make it or break it.
It’s a no-no to say, “come back to me,” right away. We advise you to find the right words in your heart and take it into a different type of truthful confession.
For example, you can say, “You don’t know how much I’ve waited for us to be healed so that I can talk to you about the things that I regret doing in the past.” In this way, you are already accepting that it’s your entire fault why your relationship ended.
The next thing that you could learn is how to apologize to your ex. Tell your ex everything you’d liked to apologize for. Stop mentioning the ones that she did wrong for your relationship to fail.
A proper apology is all you have to do before you can confess to her about your interest in rekindling your relationship.
7. Prepare for a better relationship
If the odds are with you, then congratulations!
The last thing that you have to do is to prepare for a better relationship. Remind yourself about everything that caused your relationship to fall apart so that you can avoid doing it again. The best thing that you can do is to deal with these issues.
Fix them as soon as possible. Or else you will go back to the same cycle again. You are given another shot in love, so you should consider it as a new one. You can build better trust and intimacy that both of you can compromise. Make sure to rekindle everything, including your love-makings, so it won’t be annoying for both of you to try again.
Furthermore, you should learn to know her better because the time you’ve spent far away from each other might help her to become better in all the fields she’s in.
You can just make a little adjustment and pick where you last left off your relationship.
The hardest part you could face when you ask about how to get your ex back is also the trust that you have to earn again.
However, it will be easier for you if you follow the steps above to get the person that you always want to love and cherish for the rest of your life. It may take a lot of effort and time, but all these sacrifices won’t be hard for you when it’s the love we’re talking about.
So, why don’t you try step #1 now and find out for yourself how these steps can successfully help you.
Don’t forget to share it with your friends who are down with their exes too!