Your loved one’s death is truly the most heartbreaking thing that can ever happen to you. Just like what Dr. Alan Wolfelt said before, grief after you lost someone is not a kind of two steps forward and one step backward journey.
It takes a lot of patience and time to heal and move forward on your own fully, but it will surely help you when you finally learn to let them go.
Losing someone we love will make us question how to find happiness again when we already lost it as soon as they left this world.
While their physical presence is no longer here, it does not mean that we completely lost everything, including the memories we shared with that person.
When the day of our loved one’s death finally comes, our relationship with them will continue to be alive through the moments and memories.
One of the things we can do to make it possible is to revisit the past where they are still with us.
Though it will make us sad for a while, recalling your memories will make you move forward to reconcile with the lost.
There are also some ways to remember your loved one’s death, so you will not make yourself feel lonely again anymore.
1. Support a cause that is close to their hearts
There are some of the most ideal ways to do if you want to know how to find happiness after your loved one’s death. One of which is to find the charity that they supported when they were still alive and continue helping it.
Donating to the charity close to their hearts is an admirable way to honor them while helping other people as you get up again after your loved one’s death.
Often, an individual who has an incurable disease will request their family that they want to be remembered by donating something to a charity under their name.
That way, you can honor them while keeping their memory alive. This will also help the charity in the ways they got the help from your loved ones when they were still here.
This will also continue their legacy through the means of transforming their contribution into a memory.
However, you should still check if the organization that they want to offer their help is still legit or no longer existing. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) recommends the following steps for verifying charities:
Check the website – Every charity has a website or page, and it must contain accurate information about their donation support programs.
You can also check its reviews whether the charity truly helps a particular group of people or not. FTC warns that if you cannot find any of this information, then it is a red flag.
Beware of scams incidents – Unfortunately, some people use some organization’s name to trick other people.
They act like they are the legitimate ones just to trick other people, so make sure that you check that you are on the legitimate website.
Check how the donation will be used – We are sure that you do not want your loved one’s death put into waste, so you better check how the donation will be used — whether it is in a program of the project.
Aside from helping their preferred charity, you can also build your own under a name. This can be the easiest choice since there is no minimum financial requirement to do this.
However, this can fully exhaust you since there will be a lot of things to do and fulfill, but it will totally be worth it.
2. Do something for them for grandparents day every year
Maybe you and your younger siblings and cousins are having a hard time asking how to find happiness after a loved one’s death, But you can be more creative during grandparents day!
Every September 13, people around the world celebrate a special day for grandparents by doing a lot of activities. You can either create a video, drawing, or a poem for grandparents’ day.
Even when they are no longer around anymore, it is essential to remember them by recognizing the things they made and created when they were still alive.
You also surely created nicknames for grandparents when you were still a little, so you can easily use it to create a poem or make something personalized that you can leave on their grave.
Here are some ways you can do to celebrate National Grandparents Day even after your loved one’s death:
Write Them A Poem
If you want to write a poem for grandparents day, you can use this poem by Ricky R. Hernandez from familyfriendpoems.com as your guide:
Grandma, I wonder
where you keep your wings.
Are they hung in your closet
with the rest of your things?
Do you put them away
and just use them at night
or give them to Rosie
to polish up bright?
I know you have wings,
for this must be true,
’cause God always gives
them to angels just like you.
You can also use the nicknames for grandparents that you have given them before to create an acrostic poem for grandparents’ day.
Even when they are no longer around, this can surely give you the answer on how to find happiness in their absence while continuing your life with only their memories by your side.
Perform a Song
Though they are no longer here physically, they can surely hear you since even after your loved one’s death, their presence still stays here.
You can ask for your cousins to join you singing a song for your grandparents who are now in heaven, and that will surely be a special memory.
Make a Photograph Craft
You can grab your family’s photo album and compile your pictures with them. For the captions, you can insert the nicknames for grandparents as your caption per picture.
3. Keep something that reminds you of them
You might have been asking yourself how to find happiness when you are still seeing everything that reminds you of your loved one’s death, but it is not there to make your every day even more painful. Instead, use the things they left to memorialize deceased loved ones at home.
You may opt to turn their garment into a pillow, so whenever you feel like the world is against you, you can hug it and think as if they are still here. You can also turn it into a teddy bear that you can hug tight in moments of grief.
If they have a piece of wood furniture they used to use all the time, you can keep your grandparent’s memory alive by engraving his or her name or nicknames for grandparents so you will remember them whenever you see it.
Remembering everything even after your loved one’s death reminds you that losing them may be devastating, but finding ways to feel connected with them after they departed can help you ease the pain.
4. Create a living reminder
This is just the same as keeping something that reminds you of them, but this time, you will be using another living thing to keep their memories alive.
Remembering them through a living reminder is easy most especially when you have made great memories with them when they were still alive. You can honor them and your loved one’s death by creating a memorial piece dedicated to them.
When you mark a special thing or place using the nicknames for grandparents you have created before, then you are helping yourself to heal.
You might feel lonely now that they are gone, most especially during the holiday season, which you used to celebrate together. But remember that not responding to your grief will only make everything worst.
So you better stand up and lessen your feelings by honoring your loved one’s death.
You can plant a tree since doing so can help you create a living memorial for them. This is a special and a special one when they were passionate about the environment when they were still alive.
At the same time, you can help the environment as trees are essential in maintaining a healthy ecosystem. The location where you should plant it must be somewhere special where you and your loved one used to go all the time before.
Once it is big enough, you can have the nicknames for grandparents be engraved into it.
Aside from a tree, planting forget-me-nots is also alright most especially when you cannot find enough space where you can put the living reminder at. Forget-me-nots can be a better option and they are easy to take care of.
5. Hold a special event for them
Holding events to memorialize and honor them after your loved one’s death can indeed be one of the things that can leave an impact on them.
You can choose to start an event while bringing awareness to a particular issue, or you can decide to launch something based on their hobbies and interests when they were still alive or is related to how they died.
You can opt to establish a foundation like something that can help home for the aged or a fundraising event that will help those people who are suffering from the same disease that made your loved one succumbed to death.
If this might be too hassle for you, you can just be a participant of a particular event or fundraising event that is related to their case before. The hospital who treated them might also launch something to raise awareness about something.
For fundraising events, here are some examples that can give you an idea if you are planning to create one:
- Peer-to-Peer Fundraising – In P2P fundraising, you may ask the donors to reach out to their friends and family to engage more people in your fundraising effort. This is ideal if your loved one was cancer or dialysis patient.
- Charity Auction – If you have a lot of valuable items you can send out for an auction, this one can be a perfect option for you. This is one of the most profitable fundraising events, and some donors will not be thinking about the price anymore since they are only into contributing to your cause.
- Online Donations – If you have picked a particular charity, you can hold an online event and accept donations to help them. Since it is online, then you will have more potential contributions to make the event for your loved one’s extra special.
But memorial events should not only about these kinds of projects, but you can also celebrate their birthday even after your loved one’s death.
Sure, remembering their birthday can be challenging most especially when birthdays are designed to celebrate life.
You might have been asking yourself how to find happiness as you celebrate their special day when they are no longer here.
Let me tell you, you can still celebrate it. You can remember the time you spent together and the person they were.
You can also call for a family reunion to celebrate your loved one’s birthday together.
Rather than visiting your deceased family member alone, you can hold a birthday party for them and ask your friends and family to celebrate it with you.
But if you do not want to host it, you can also opt to have a simple dinner somewhere where you can also recall your loved one’s death and their life. Honoring them during an event can be done in so many ways.
Each one of you can share a favorite memory with that particular loved one. But if you do not want to be emotional during their special day, you just can bring their picture and reserve a seat for them during the dinner.