This Is How You Can Start Letting Go When You’re Having a Hard Time

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This Is How You Can Start Letting Go When You're Having Hard Time

Written by Aochealth Team

Aochealth is a trusted guide to the healthy living website. Our mission is to provide health knowledge that you can use to help yourself and your loved ones.

April 30, 2020

To have someone by our side when we are facing a stressful life is such a blessing. They can help us get better; they can do something for us that can make everything around us a little lighter. We tend to build great memories with them, and unknowingly, we became too attached to them.

However, not all relationships last, and some of the people we cherish the most might leave us at an unexpected time. In some other cases, it is us who need to do the letting go job though it hurts knowing that taking a break from them this time means not having them forever. We hold onto people who become important to us, so tight that we can find it hard once we finally need to say goodbye.

We need to release everything that brings us down and make us feel like we are never enough for anyone. It is not about whose fault it is anymore but who can take responsibility. While some people get themselves into blaming games just to win the battle for the last time, it is more important for people that we all have our lapses, and it is easier for us to move on that way.

Although letting go can be one of the most stressful life events we need to go through, it can surely teach us to be matured enough to face the hardships of finally leaving someone since we can no longer change or improve the situation. Taking a break might help, but if the relationship already reached the point wherein every little thing around you became toxic, it is no longer doable to stay when it can only break things even more. 

The truth is that every beginning has an ending. But ending things does not mean it already ends for you, as well. Letting go of people means giving yourself a chance to find someone better, or be better for yourself instead. It will never be easy since it will take time before you can entirely do it. But it is possible, and you should do it for your well being.

Letting go is hard; we all know that. But if you start correctly and do the necessary things to step forward, you will surely make it, though. Sometimes, letting go is much easier than holding on to the idea that something might still be fixed. To help you out, we listed three things you should start doing to finally let go of the stressful life you have right now.


  1. Ask yourself if it is what you want.
  2. Make sure to bring the lessons from that relationship.
  3. Focus on yourself and practice self-care.

Ask yourself if it is what you want.

Ask yourself if it is what you really want.

Before you can start letting go and saying goodbye, there are a lot of questions you should answer inside your mind so you can be sure that you will not regret your decision in the end. Since letting go means cutting the cord permanently, you should think about what you want to do numerous times. That way, you are not only saving the fixable relationship but also yourself from another heartbreak.

There are some questions you need to ask and confirm to yourself before making a move. First, you should know whether that person is causing you to have a stressful life or not. There are times that we become emotionally exhausted that we are blaming other people for that.

But if you are convinced that spending time with that person no longer excites you, maybe it is time to take a step away from the stressful life of yours. You should also take note of your behavior. If that person only brings the worst out of you, then you should do the work now.

If you feel like they do not value you enough, then walking out from that person’s life is the best thing you can do.

Life is full of twists and turns, and it is essential to have someone who can stay by your side throughout all those life events, someone whom you can pour yourself out and still be the happiest because they do the same. But if your personalities and values clash, that’s a whole different thing since we all need someone who will be able to take care of us — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Do not hide behind your feelings. Ask if you want this. Communicate with your inner voice and discover how you feel. In‘s website, you can see the questions you should ask yourself before letting go. Those queries are the following:

  • Why am I leaving?
  • Would I still be myself if I left this person?
  • Where do I see myself with this person in the next five years?
  • Does this person make me feel happy?
  • Am I a better person because of this relationship?
  • Do I love this person and not the version of themselves that I want them to be?
  • Will there be regrets if I don’t end it now?
  • What values does this person give to my life?
  • Are we dedicating time and commitment to the relationship?
  • What will my life be like when I have left?

Make sure to bring the lessons from that relationship.

Make sure to bring the lessons from that relationship.

Moving forward does not mean leaving everything. As you take a big leap forward, there are things you should carry, so you will not be repeating the same mistakes. Sometimes, the most stressful life events leave the hardest but most necessary lessons if you pay attention carefully.

Compared to your previous relationship, you will be able to notice red flags immediately in the future and refuse to ignore them anymore. You will also learn that ignoring them is never a good idea since not everything can be fixed tomorrow, the other day, or next week. If you can set the problem now, do it. This will not just save your relationships, but this can also prevent you from having a stressful life since talking about the issues now will keep you from thinking about it so much.

Also, you must learn what you failed to hear last time. Maybe you became self-centered, or they just refused to talk to you. But listening is one of the essential things you should do to avoid the reoccurrence of the most stressful life events. Listening creates the best foundation for every relationship.

Not only it lets you learn more about a person, but it can also make them feel like they are important enough not to be ignored. After letting go, you should learn to listen more, and that will surely help you not to be annoyed by anything. But it is not just about their worth. You, as well, will learn hour own, and you will see how taking a break can save you from a stressful life.

Sure, there is always a toxic relationship. But every time you go through that, you should know your self-worth and the importance of self-esteem. You should take note next time that a relationship should not cause you to lose your self-respect.

After all, it is yourself who you should always take care of and love more so you will not be alone with anything in the end. It is not a selfish move. It is more than that. It is more than just looking at the most stressful life events and realize that you never did something for yourself, that is why you are pouring everything to your own feet now.

But it is about putting yourself first by giving the right amount of self-care and self-love, whether you are in a relationship or not.

Learning to stand up alone can make you even more robust, and if you never learned it, the toxic relationship can push you to do so. With this, you are building walls against any manipulations or anything terrible. You will also hear no lies anymore. So stand up and never forget the lessons.

Focus on yourself and practice self-care.

Focus on yourself and practice self care.

Just like what we mentioned, letting go also means taking a break from a stressful life, and you should use this time to take care of yourself now. Maybe you have given everything in your previous relationship, but we know that there is still something store in you that you can finally present to yourself.

There are a lot of things you can do to practice self-love after letting go, and you should learn all of that because it is extremely important.

Self-love is the greatest gift you can give to yourself as it is the key that will take you out of the stressful life. No one has a better understanding of your thoughts, needs, and wants other than yourself. So it is really essential for you to learn this once you think of taking a break.

In order to do this, you must know what things about you that need more attention and love are. This is because you can only have healthy relationships if you have learned this. As a result, you can set boundaries next time in order to have more fulfilling relationships soon.

Without this, you will drastically lose your ability to be successful in a lot of things because you will hate yourself more.

When you have self-love, you will understand yourself more to the point that you can finally understand your flaws and move on from the most stressful life events.

The end of your relationships surely is a period of self-doubt. But there are some ways to show yourself s little love. First, start with the little things. Appreciating the smallest things you do can help you take a step toward healing. You can also do this by going on therapy to unleash your inner capacity as a person.

When you go on treatment, you also try to dive into your innermost thoughts and understand yourself more. That way, you will learn how to love yourself more.

But loving yourself after experiencing stressful life does not only mean taking care of your mental and emotional health but also offering yourself something that will benefit your physical health. You might want to treat yourself whenever you accomplish one of your goals. You can opt to go to the mall and buy what you want without looking at the tag price.

You can go to a spa for a massage or experience a sauna. Or you may also try having full pedicure and manicure moments. Not only these things can improve your appearance, but it can also boost your self-esteem even after you lose someone important.

You see, letting go does not always mean finding some time alone. You can still ring your friends and exchange some good topics for shifting your attention for a while. Maybe you lost some connections with them due to the toxic relationship you just had, and reconnecting with them after you let go of that special relationship is fine.

Communicating with other people can also lighten up your mood while making your progress. But you can also interact with yourself by writing down your answers to the following questions:

  • In what ways did your ex make you a worse version of yourself?
  • In what ways did they make you a better version of yourself?
  • How can you hold on to these beneficial qualities while letting go of the conditions that no longer serve you?

Once you study your own emotions, you will surely no longer have stressful life even after you let go and move on. Letting go might be something hard for you to do now, But you can only have a better experience once you bravely take a step forward and move on from your past. This is how you will heal. This is how you will feel happy again.

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