What to Do After a Break Up: The Process of Moving On

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What to Do After a Break Up The Process of Moving On

Written by Aochealth Team

Aochealth is a trusted guide to the healthy living website. Our mission is to provide health knowledge that you can use to help yourself and your loved ones.

April 20, 2020

At some point in our lives, we will experience painful goodbyes from the person we love dearly. No one could ever move on right away after a breakup. Nobody can do that. You have to go through that is devastating to your whole being.

When your heart is in pain, every organ you have seems not to function well too. The struggle is real, waking up every day after a breakup. The important thing here is to stop yourself from feeling helpless. Set on your mindset on what to do after a breakup.

Life doesn’t stop for anything or anybody. Even if you lose the person that you want to spend your future with. There will always be someone who can fill the gaps in your heart, someone you will never lose, no matter what the circumstances are.

It may be difficult to believe in love again, but the first step is to move on. 

Whether it’s you or your ex who call it quits, you deserve to move forward. You can ask for the guidance of your family or friends, or do it alone, whatever is beneficial for you, do it.

Time heals all wounds if you know how to equip it with a checklist that will help you with the process of moving on. Here are the six things you can check out for you to get out of the pain and seek happiness in life and love again. 

 

1. Cry it all out

  Cry it all out

It is painful to have your heart broken, so cry until you run out of tears to shed. You must grieve the love that you lost rather than keeping it all to yourself. Pretentious will only slow down the process of moving on. If you show the world that you’re okay, even if you are not, you will only grieve more when the lights are off, and you are all alone.

It is a process that you have to undergo, and this first step all goes with how you let your emotions out to keep it real for you. The more you let go of the pain, the more comfortable for you to move on. You shouldn’t hold back, just scream, yell, and cry until it no longer hurts.

However, there are times that no matter how much you’d like to cry, there are no tears to let out. In this way, you are already numb with all the pain. You might be wondering how to move on when you can’t even cry a single tear to ease the pain away.

Try to listen to the songs that remind you of your past relationship and other breakup songs to trigger negative emotions. In this way, it will be easy for you to cry and find relief afterward.

Grieving should not last long. Grieve, but don’t stay devastated throughout your life. A month or two will pass for all the miseries to go away. There may be times that you miss the person, but the important thing is you’re done crying over him. It is also not advisable that your grieving process is just for a short time.

You will not be able to take all the pain away if that’s the case. You will only end up crying every night for the next months if you skip embracing the pain for the first few weeks.

2. Accept that it’s over

Accept that it's over

Acceptance is your number 1 enemy when moving on. It takes some time before you can truly accept the end of a relationship. Of course, how can you receive in your bones that you are no longer part of somebody else’s future, right?

The memories and experiences you had with that person are irreplaceable. The future that you had planned together are all gone now. Most notably, for long term relationships where everything seemed to be surreal, acceptance is very hard. You will end up thinking about the “what-ifs” and “what could have” in life, which is normal after a breakup.

However, you should bear in mind that what’s gone can no longer be taken back. What you have now is yourself and the future of making it through your miseries.

No matter how much you want to be with that person, if the feelings are no longer mutual, accept it and let him go. You don’t matter in his life anymore, so stop thinking about him. You have your whole life to figure out now. You have to get back to the reality that fairytales have endings that are not beautiful too.

If you are having a hard time accepting things, you can vent out to your family and your friends because they have a lot of advice for you. They are the ones who can see the bigger picture, so listen to them.

You need to start over, so as much as possible, stop recalling your planned goals together. Everything is destined to happen if he’s not really for you.

3. Take good care of yourself

Take good care of yourself

When you can already wake up without thinking about him first thing in the morning, that is a sign that you should now include pampering yours to your what to do after a breakup list. You should start engaging yourself in things that you are passionate about.

When something gives you happiness, take advantage of it. Because little smiles will turn to huge laughter sooner than later, make sure that your heart is the only damage part of you, not your body, neither your peace of mind.

Get dressed gorgeously and start attending your gym workouts for a well-toned collection. Remember that it is a new start for you, so you got to achieve feeling good and looking fresh.

One of the few things to do if you want to start pampering yourself is by treating yourself to a facial spa. After all the crying, your face needs time off for it to glow like never before. You have to bring back the beauty that was once lost because of your heartbreak. So dry your tears and hydrate your face.

A beautiful body can also be achieved if you indulge yourself in a workout class. Attend regularly so that the result can be achievable in just weeks of going to the gym.

Furthermore, if you exercise, you can be more positive and happy because your brain is releasing chemicals beneficial for your mental health. Check out some post-breakup exercises like the one below.

 

Bear Crawl

Category: Upper Body

Muscles: Chest, Shoulders, Triceps, Core

  • Start in a push-up position
  • Keep the hips and shoulders in one line, BUTT DOWN!
  • Step forward with your hands and feet, alternating
  • Think of lengthening through the body

 

Squat Thrusts

Category: Cardio

Muscles: Core, Cardio

  • Start in a standing position
  • Place the hands on the floor
  • Jump the feet back, so you are in a full push up position
  • Shoulders and chest are directly above the hands
  • Jump the feet forward and stand

4. Delete all possible contacts

Delete all possible contacts

Don’t start asking yourself how to move on if you have not deleted all his contacts. If you keep on assuming that one day he will text or call you to make it up to you, nothing will happen.

Even on your social media accounts, you should learn to cut any source of messaging. It actually won’t make you bitter but rather better. Of course, who would not want to anticipate a reply if you text him, right? However, it won’t do you any good. It is one way of avoiding temptations. It will only cause you to long for him more or worse you’ll beg for him to come back.

Not deleting all possible contacts will only cause anxiety on your part, slowing down your moving on process.

You have to be kind enough to yourself to stop wanting people that are no longer yours. So, do yourself a favor and find new hobbies that will keep you busy or thinking about contacting him.

The thing here is that, after a breakup, your ex no longer wants to see your name on his phone. Why keep in contact with the person that is no longer happy with your presence? So, make it a healthy practice when you miss him, start diverting your attention to different things that are more valuable for your future.

5. Find yourself again

Find yourself again

Usually, you lose yourself when the love you wanted is no longer there. However, you need to get back on your feet and realize your worth as a person.

Break up is a blessing in disguise because it is the only time that you learn to get stronger no matter what kind of struggles life throws at you tomorrow.

Some people have only determined their real purpose in life after breakthroughs. So believe that you will find yours in time.

Always do something that can make you happy such as spending time with family and friends, going shopping, plan cute date ideas for a family vacation, exercise or anything that helps you grow as an individual. Whatever you may find in front of you while searching for answers is your answered prayer.

6. Embrace new beginning

Embrace new beginning

Beginnings are always beautiful. No matter how painful the past is, your happy ending awaits for you in the present. This is the last step of what to do after a breakup because you have let the person go.

The memories are too hard to erase because it is meant to stay there. They serve as lessons that you should never forget as you take on other challenges that await you.

Do things that you have never tried before. Ride a roller coaster, watch a horror movie, travel to other countries alone, or anything that will keep you going. Learn to embrace a new set of vibes for you to enjoy life. Anything spontaneous can help you reconnect with life again after enduring heartbreak.

 

Conclusion

So, there go the steps that you have to undertake to fully move on and completely accept defeats in relationships. Stop asking yourself how to move on. It is now time for you to thank the person for the heartbreak because it introduces you to a beginning way better than before. Of course, we’ll never know who you’ll cross lives with in the future!

Keep the love you have for yourself more glowing and radiant!

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